December 2011
1 post
**Click the audio above to hear me make fun of the...
July 2011
2 posts
May 2011
2 posts
Parking Wars
This car has been taking up two spots on my street, and hasn’t moved in like 3 days…
I wrote a note to put on this person’s car. Here is said note:
Let’s see how this goes…
Race War at the Library
The library is my favorite place to write. It's quiet most of the time, but because it's a free place to hang out there are a lot of weirdos here. I'm sitting here at my table, typing away, and a race war almost broke out. I'm still sitting at the same 4-person table as this white woman. This is verbatim what just happened:
*Black Woman answers her cell phone at adjoining table, talking quietly for like 20 seconds*
White Woman: You gotta take that call outside, lady.
*Black Woman nods her head nicely and walks outside.*
Racially Ambigious Woman to White Woman: I heard you on your phone earlier... bitch.
White Woman: Excuse me?
Racially Ambiguous Woman: You were on your phone earlier, bitch.
White Woman: I don't know what you're talking about.
Racially Ambiguous Woman: You're just racist, bitch." (sense a theme with her comments?)
White Woman: I'm not racist, I like black people. I hate Russians.
Racially Ambiguous Woman: Good thing I'm not Russian, you racist bitch.
March 2011
4 posts
February 2011
1 post
October 2010
1 post
August 2010
2 posts
July 2010
6 posts
Watchcheck out this rad cook grilling up my Mongolian dinner
Best Headline Ever... →
A headline thats actually funny. Take THAT Jay Leno.
dotcomboom:
Norm Macdonald on the pod with...
June 2010
8 posts
Soccer Convo w/ Iowa Friend
Actual text message battle I had with my friend from Iowa about the World Cup:
Friend: So much action in todays first two games. These guys are gonna break the score boards
Me: Go back to middle America and eat friend mayonnaise balls and watch cars make left turns for 500 laps.
Friend: That's 498 more laps than points scored today.
Me: Oh, cuz laps are just as exciting as goals. "Oh shit! Jeff Gordon is going.... left again."
Friend: And those mayo balls are fucking food!
Me: I hope for car crashes watching your sport like you hope for goals watching mine.
Friend: Exactly! On there is always at least one crash for us. Urs not so garaunteed (spelled wrong)
Me: You are why everyone hates America.
Friend: Ur why america hates you.
